The Last Candle

Way back in late ‘04, I was excited at the news that previous Elvenking lead singer Damnagoras — yes, this just might be about power metal! — had re-joined the band. W ith Damnagoars back on pipes, the Elves released a new album back in January — this past week I finally had a chance to give it a listen on iTunes.

I expected the album to be smashing good: I didn’t hear much of Wyrd, the band’s second record that featured some other vocalist fellow, but I still listen to the first record Heathenreel often. Additionally, The Wanderer, the single from the new album (streamable at MySpace), The Winter Wake, carries the Heathenreel excellence.

But listening to Winter Wake clips on iTunes (thanks, iTunes!), this album sounds, um, less than good. In fact, there’s only a couple songs from the clips I would consider purchasing individually (The Wanderer, of course; On the Morning Dow; and…that’s it), let alone consider picking up the entire album.

On the other hand, Elvenking’s front page testifies that the album’s met some critical success among metal mags both online and dead tree. Just a bad group of clips on iTunes? I’ll find out after I order a few. There aren’t enough good pagan-extreme-folk-power metal groups in the universe, so Elvenking deserves a little support.

This past week I was also struck with the good fortune of discovering Finnish “monster metal” group Lordi, who has somehow evaded me for the past four years since their first record. Lordi is mainly a power/heavy metal troupe, but they have creepy, ostentatious Gwar-ish costumes and personas, and a musical sound that’s parts Dream Evil, part Rob Zombie, and a little pop — say, ABBA, just because.

Lordi may look like a freak show, but that exterior ugly doesn’t stop the interior bard from penning bombastic rock and roll crankers continously, including classics as “Devil Is A Loser” (video on YouTube) from the inaugural 2002 album Get Heavy.

The devil is a loser and he’s my bitch
For better or for worse and you don’t care which
The devil is a loser and he’s my bitch
Runnin’ into trouble you skitch [what?]
He’s my bitch

[…]

You got yourself some greasepaint
Set of white and black
All you got was laughter and
Gene Simmons on your back

It’s the anti-Dream Evil’s HMJ! For those of you not familiar for the aforementioned Evil anthem, acquaint yourself with the following lyrics.

He said, “If you wanna kill the beast
You gotta be blessed from the man from the east
So why don’t you get down on your knee
And I will bless you with my Flying V!”

I’m the Heavy Metal Jesus
I’m the Heavy Metal Jesus
I’m the Heavy Metal thunderstriking Jesus!
I’m the Heavy Metal Jesus!

It’s just like going to church, except totally hardcore awesome.

Between silly people griping over the announcement of the Nintendo Wii (previously known as the Nintendo Revolution) and a very minor debate in e-mail land regarding gas prices and oil, my argument-o-meter shows that I’m about to blow my top. “Mild flavor,” yes.

Anyways, to top off the day, recaps of both arguments. My side of the gas and oil debate involved avoiding descending into the awful demagogery and extreme finger-pointing and two-second solutions the country’s gripped with at the moment (for good reason: Gas prices are high! Record profits in the oil industry! Kill ‘em all!).

While I’ve stayed away from taking part in our minor mail joust, I’ve still been reading up on the topic; the list of opinions and resources I profited from the most are listed below.

• Jon Henke at QandO, a favorite blog of mine, lays down a sensible position regarding this slick mess. Basic idea: economics before politics.


• The above QandO post links to an enlightened editorial by Christopher Taylor about the true cause of high gas prices — the Government.


• Another QandO reference! Henke responds to comments to the above post with a few comments of his own: “We’re either for providing the incentives necessary for a real and concerted effort to find fuel alternatives (which means we pay more for fuel) or we’re not. Higher oil prices provide the incentive.”


• Just another fine cartoon by Cox & Forkum.


• “The Myth of ‘Price-Gouging,’ by Alex Epstein of the Ayn Rand Institute. The title says it all. Excellent read.


• Here’s a graph that shows a Texan’s paid prices for gas since 1979 with adjustments for inflation.


• Peak Oil: Is it time? Reason takes a look.


• Reason also examines the cries about high crude oil prices.


• Popular Mechanics asks, “How far can you drive on a bushel of corn?” and takes a look at theoretical costs for alternative fuels compared to good ole’ gasoline.


• The Hindrocket scolds fellow Republicans for being ridiculous and almost completely off the mark. Sure isn’t much great coming from either party’s elected officals these days — or any great, really.


• Nick Schulz at Forbes takes a brief look at media depictions versus the actual supply and costs. This article also has a graph, in case its authority was in doubt.


• And finally: Dana Milbanks snarks Congress for the win!

Whew!

As for the Nintendo Wii: I think it’s a good name. Short, snappy, unique, and a little silly. Like from the bumper sticker I saw on the back of a beat-up Volvo yesterday, “Haters step off.”

United 93, the first “big” 9/11 dramatization (after several TV retellings and countless historical documentaries), is doing very well critically. If there was ever a film in modern times that needed to avoid being too full of itself for the purposes of telling the story, United 93 would be it, and it appears to be telling the ordeal of that day straight and true.

Good on Greengrass, the director and writer. Many months ago, when this film was announced, I had a feeling — nay, more than a feeling! — that this film was going to turn out well.

My reasoning? Back in 2002, Greengrass directed and wrote a first depiction of terrible human drama that proved he was capable at showing an event without sliding into overbearing appeals to sympathy, cheap tricks for emotive reactions, or, worst of all, perspectives maligned by politics. This film was so true and unmolested in its production that an audience might tempt thoughts that Greengrass invented a time machine so he could go back and film the event as it really happened.

The film, of course, was Bloody Sunday, which I blogged about at great length here just over a year ago.

Bloody Sunday gained my respect for Greengrass as filmmaker and writer. From the positive testaments eminating from the United 93 reviews, and considering — especially considering — the context and pressure in which Greengrass works with in choosing the 9/11 disaster, he’s very likely to earn my respect as an irreplaceable scribe and storyteller of modern humanism.

Still thinking about the Silent Hill movie. Considering that I thought the film was a crappy film overall, it was just so, erm, pleasantly Silent Hill-ish. Pleasant in that, “Ah, my good friend Pyramid Head! How are you these days, chum? Keeping the Knife sharp?” kind of way. Yeah.

Anyways, the Hill-ishness in the film was so strong that I have a need to offer a second rating, one completely biased by inclinaison de fan-garçon:

Minus one Fat head for putting Pyramid Head in this film’s plotline instead of the one where he belongs, Silent Hill 2’s. He was pretty good in the flick, sure, but by putting him into the Silent Hill 1 plot, scriptwriter Avery screwed up the potential for bringing Silent Hill 2 to the screen.

If Sony does end up attempting a second Hill film with the second game’s plot and characters, the audience familiar with the first film but not the games would be asking where Alessa was, or why her guardian (Pyramid Head’s part in the film) was wandering around, stopping occasionally to dismember a poor denizen, without his master.

Hey! It’s that pointy-headed guy again! What’s he doing here? Where’s the creepy girl?

He’s, uh, actually supposed to be in this one. [SH2 protagonist] James has something to do with him.

But that doesn’t explain why he was in the first. Is James related to Alessa?

Um, no.

This is assuming that if they do make a Silent Hill 2 film, Pyramid Head will be employed for it. Hey, if they managed to mesh SH2 ideas such as patient demons and Mr. Head into the first game’s plot for the movie, they might think that Valtiel’d make a good antangonist for the SH2 screen adaptation… .

(Psst. If you need a heads-up about Who’s Who in Silent Hill, take a look at the following three images of monster/character biographies: Silent Hill, SH2, SH3. Weird and slightly distburing images, ahoy, and plenty of spoilers if you haven’t played the games. Pyramid Head shows up in SH2, and Valtiel is in the third game. Also note that SH3 is directly connected to the first game, making it much more possible as a second film than SH2.)

If the big, bloody finger o’ blame was to be pointed at one man for ruining Silent Hill for the market, it’d be Roger Avery. Had the movie’s shoehorned hammer-stroke evil fanatics plot been exchanged for more daring, deeper and more subtle storyline, and the exposition and pacing fixed up a bit, this film might have been beyond fanboy ambrosia and out into critical accolades.

But that’s not the case. Made by the fans (Gans, director, and Avery are outspoken Silent Hill fans — remember?), but only for the fans, evidently.

In other game movie news…wait, come back! This is good news, actually — I think so, at least.

Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children was finally released State-side today. The film’s release has taken less time to arrive on DVD since the Japanese premier in late 2005 — I must have been thinking of the 2004 film festival premier…in Canada, of all places — but after a stream of delays, including some excruciatingly bad (and thankfully wrong) , it’s high time for a domestic high-res release.

Speaking of fanboys, I stopped by the neighborhood Best Buy to grab a copy, but only received an earload of some clerk explaining to a couple guys that the store’d sold out already. “Yeah, 40 gone in the first hour. People were actually, like, lined up in front of the store. I’ve never seen a DVD release do that.”

I’m not surprised: the mobbish Final Fantasy 7 lobby ranges far and wide, but is composed mostly of idiots who haven’t played Final Fantasy 3. Issues? Who, me? No, them! Them!

Anyways, while old school brick-and-mortar Best Buy sold out of their stock, electrique nouveau Amazon has stock to burn and the same cheapo $15 price. I’ve got Advent Children comin’ my way.

I had a decent-sized review — paragraphs upon paragraphs! — of the Silent Hill movie partially completed, but wasn’t quite sure where to take it between “It sucks” and “It rules.” Doesn’t make sense? Kotaku puts it in perspective perfectly:

The New York Times gave the movie a 10 out of a 100 and the San Francisco Chronicle gave it a bit fat zero, but according to sites like Metacritic and Rotten Tomatoes, fans seemed to like it.

Metacritic
Critics: 29 percent
Users: 88 percent

Rotten Tomatoes:
Critics: 29 percent
Users: 75 percent

So is this a case of fanboyism or critics not getting it?

Here’s your answer: The Silent Hill fans, such as myself, got what we wanted. That is, we were served up trademarks of the games: gorgeous atmosphere, plenty of thick and ugly monsters, a little storytelling (although not a very good one — at all), and a fair amount of discomfort — the horror part. That’s it! Satiated! The Silent Hill parts were pretty darn good; my only complaint in that there wasn’t nearly enough Pyramid Head, dammit.

But the critics? Unlike the fans, they didn’t get what they wanted — a sound film. The script was lame. The actors were weak. The plot was confused and overdrawn. Sean Bean’s character was entirely worthless. Too much talking in some parts — too little in others. And on. And on.

This film as a bit o’ cinema just barely deserves the following rating on the Chow Yun-Fat Head O’ Meter.

<br/> But y’know, even though I know the film didn’t have hardly any techical or artistic appeal beyond Christopher Gans’ excellent direction…I want to see it again. And the reason for that is obvious: It was Silent Hill The Game as Silent Hill The Movie.

Good enough for me, but I won’t be passing around any recommendations. But I’ll probably buy the DVD.

Sigh.